Dear Mr. Jeffries,
I recently heard that you'd prefer it if "fat" girls not shop at your store. It seems that you believe skinny-bitches (and yes, anyone wearing a size 10 or less is a skinny-bitch) are the Cool of society, and you'd prefer them shopping at your store; not the Fats. You want the popular kids in your store because they embody beauty and the "American Dream"-something that the Fats can never achieve. They will never belong with the Cool (or at least never in your store).
I get you Jeffries. I get you. You want to target a certain demographic, and that particular demographic you chose is the Cool. You don't want you or your company associated with the unpopular kids of America.
This face is too sexy for your cellulite.
Of course everyone wants the cool kids to shop at their store. Everyone knows the cool kids are always rich, so they will buy tons of useless clothing. Their parents can also probably afford to shop at Whole Foods every week, which is probably why they are so thin. Those Fats just wish they could eat organic-whole-grain-gluten-free-soy-potato chips. Your target demographic of cool-skinny bitches is not a big deal. Lots of other stores exclude bigger customers, like that store from Mean Girls. They only sold sizes 1, 3, and 5, and they seemed to be doing just fine.
"You could try Sears...cow."
Mr. Jeffries, I know you want to have a successful company, and I get you want to target a certain group-the Cool. Good for you Mr. Jeffries. However, I see a little problem with your plan. It seems as though you've got it all wrong. Turns out that skinny does not equal cool; at least not in 2013.
You see, many people are pretty upset about your ideals, and I'm sure it's not because they think you're an asshole, or anything. You seem like a very nice man to me.
And so dashing!
Apparently, people are upset with you because they don't agree with your notions of cool or beauty. Amazingly, others don't agree that beauty = skinny-bitches. Normally, I would say that these people are crazy and probably just jealous of your skinny-bitch store and your beautiful face.
Haterz gon' hate!
However, after examining evidence from around our culture it is becoming clear that these seemingly insane people are correct.
Sure Gwyneth Paltrow has been named the most beautiful woman by People magazine, and yes she is a beautiful skinny-bitch (homegirl is rich too!), but she's old as hell... Like 40-something. When did that age become beautiful or cool? But, old ladies aren't the only ones who are part of the Cool nowadays (Helen Mirren and Betty White are also highly regarded). As it turns out, members of the Fat are slipping in with the Cool crowd. A few weeks ago, I found out that actress, Lena Dunham, was on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. People love the shit out of her and her show, Girls, but there is no way she is a skinny-bitch (c'mon, we've all seen her naked). In addition, everyone loves Adele. She is stylish and even considered to be very pretty, even though I'm pretty sure she's not a size 10. And then there's Rebel Wilson. There is absolutely no way that this chick wasn't in the in-crowd because she is way too fucking awesome and hilarious. Same thing goes for Melissa McCarthy. She is a winner at life. Do I even need to mention Queen Latifah? Have you ever heard anyone say that they hate Queen Latifah? Probably not, because if they did, she probably beat them to death and hid the body.
I love her and I'm also terrified of pissing her off.
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make here, Mike (can I call you Mike? I feel we're on a first-name basis at this point), is that not all Cools are skinny-bitches. It's a phenomenon which I can only explain by guessing that it all comes down to character, and not appearance. I knew a bunch of skinny-bitches who I'm sure made many shopping trips to A&F together. The thing is that nobody liked them, so they weren't cool or desirable in reality.
What? You three again?!
I don't know what they thought their money could buy them, but those A&F clothes certainly didn't win them respect from peers, because no one thought they were part of the Cool. Basically, their attitudes sucked. On the other hand, I've known many Fats..."fats"...who were just wonderful to be around. They were kind, personable, and (gasp!) COOL. Many of them were also quite gorgeous (I'm looking at you, Seth Rogan *wink*). Now, I'm not saying that all skinny-bitches suck (Zooey Deschanel is a very lovely skinny-bitch) and that all the Fats are nice people (Abby Lee Miller is the worst). I'm saying that you cannot just determine a group of people's coolness, hipness, personality, or desirability solely on how they appear on the outside. I know that requires a lot more thought for you and your company (selling clothes is harrrrd), but it's something that you really need to take into consideration, because I think people are starting to lean towards ignoring your store altogether. As I stated previously, its completely fine to target a certain demographic, but your current understanding of the target demographic has evolved. Do some research to find out about the Cool, Jeffries-san.
Or make your target gay males. I mean...your ads were going in that direction anyway, so...
Thanks for listening!
Sincerely,
Liz
