Well, since the first round of names turned out to attract some attention, I've thought up some new geek-tastic names that sound like a bad idea, but would eventually turn them into cool kids. Promise...
Merlin
Merlin is the name of the greatest known fictional wizard of all time. Step aside Gandalf!
The bad: There are so many downsides to naming your child after a wizard. I mean, if you like wizards and want one of your favorites to be a namesake, then you have a plethora of options: Harry. Neville. Heck, you can even go with Severus! But, picking the most old-timey name in the history of wizard names is really taking a ballsy step. Think about the images that came to your mind when thinking of the name "Merlin." If you have a hard time using your imagination, allow me to help you out:
Conversations concerning your kid will probably go something like this:
"Oh, that kid Merlin? Yeah, he's so funny. He's a riot."
"Really? What, is he like a class clown or something?"
"No, his name is just silly. Have you ever seen Shrek 3? That's what I think of when I see Merlin. Yeah."
The awesome: We have established that the name sounds ridiculous, it's very, very outdated, and naming your child after a fictional wizard would be nuts. However, let's not overlook how much of a great figure he is. He was the real power behind the throne in Arthurian legend, he was a great mentor, and he possessed some great power. He was also probably extremely intelligent.
If the influence of a great Arthurian hero did not sell this name enough for you, then pay attention to this: The meaning of this name is "sea fortress." SEA FORTRESS. This is just the perfect prophecy that every parent wishes upon their children.
Side note- It's also the name of a bird... You can tell people that instead.
Merlin
Merlin is the name of the greatest known fictional wizard of all time. Step aside Gandalf!
"YOU SHALL NOT... oops, wrong wizard."
Clearly a stoner.
Clearly senile.
Clearly... Well, he's alright.
"Oh, that kid Merlin? Yeah, he's so funny. He's a riot."
"Really? What, is he like a class clown or something?"
"No, his name is just silly. Have you ever seen Shrek 3? That's what I think of when I see Merlin. Yeah."
The awesome: We have established that the name sounds ridiculous, it's very, very outdated, and naming your child after a fictional wizard would be nuts. However, let's not overlook how much of a great figure he is. He was the real power behind the throne in Arthurian legend, he was a great mentor, and he possessed some great power. He was also probably extremely intelligent.
If the influence of a great Arthurian hero did not sell this name enough for you, then pay attention to this: The meaning of this name is "sea fortress." SEA FORTRESS. This is just the perfect prophecy that every parent wishes upon their children.
Side note- It's also the name of a bird... You can tell people that instead.
It's better than "Katniss".
Ajax
This is a name which really does sound strong at first. However, it honestly only sounds strong because it makes me think of Mortal Kombat for some reason...
The bad: There is not much bad that goes with this name. It's strong and memorable. The only negative that might come with a name like this, is that your kid may automatically be framed as the default bully...just because your kid sounds like he might grow up to be a bouncer. Ajax, is totally a bouncer/bodyguard name...
Another obscure reason why the name might not be so great is because of the Lesser Ajax in Greek myth. During of invasion of the city of Troy, Ajax the Lesser (or "Ajax the Douchebag") erm, raped, the king of Troy's daughter while she clung to a statue of Athena. He was killed by the gods later. Good!
The awesome: Hopefully, no one will actually remeber Ajax the Douchebag, and will automatically remember that Ajax the Greater was a great Greek warrior, prominent in the tales of the Trojan War, and was played by Sabertooth. This name is also awesome for those parents who want to prime their children for careers in mixed martial arts, professional wrestling, and espionage.
This is a name which really does sound strong at first. However, it honestly only sounds strong because it makes me think of Mortal Kombat for some reason...
This is a Jax. Got it?
The bad: There is not much bad that goes with this name. It's strong and memorable. The only negative that might come with a name like this, is that your kid may automatically be framed as the default bully...just because your kid sounds like he might grow up to be a bouncer. Ajax, is totally a bouncer/bodyguard name...
Another obscure reason why the name might not be so great is because of the Lesser Ajax in Greek myth. During of invasion of the city of Troy, Ajax the Lesser (or "Ajax the Douchebag") erm, raped, the king of Troy's daughter while she clung to a statue of Athena. He was killed by the gods later. Good!
The awesome: Hopefully, no one will actually remeber Ajax the Douchebag, and will automatically remember that Ajax the Greater was a great Greek warrior, prominent in the tales of the Trojan War, and was played by Sabertooth. This name is also awesome for those parents who want to prime their children for careers in mixed martial arts, professional wrestling, and espionage.
On second thought, I'd rather have you take an art class or two...
Blossom
Because naming your kid Bubbles or Buttercup would obviously be dumb.
The bad: The name is flowery, sugary, happy, sunny goodness. How could it possibly be bad? Well, my friends, the unfortunate thing is that this name is so sweet, it just may give you diabetes.
In addition to being too full of sugar, this name is associated with two major pop culture figures. First, you all may be familiar with the Blossom who is the leader of the Powerpuff Girls. Blossom, as I recall, was not the most favorable of the trio. She was often portrayed as a bossy know-it-all, snob, and all-around teacher's pet. She had her noble moments, but many episodes showcase her as that smarty-pants everyone hated in 4th grade. The second character associated with this name is Blossom from...Blossom. It was a show. It was in the 90s. It dealt with after-school problems like family, drugs, and alcohol. I honestly have never seen more than minor clips of that show, but I hear it's nostalgic. People who grew up watching it will probably encounter your child named Blossom and make some obscure reference.
The awesome: Obscure references directed towards your child are probably the worst thing that could happen if you do decide to name her so.
As mentioned before, The Powerpuff Girls' Blossom was annoying at times, but she also was a freaking genius. Let me just remind you that she was always mature, logical, and had a great memory. She also had ice breath AND could speak Chinese fluently. From birth. Bottom line. Smart kids are named Blossom. Everyone wants smart kids.
Fun fact: This name was actually in the top 1000 during the 1920s and 1930s.
So much more Awesomely Bad Baby Names are coming soon!
Because naming your kid Bubbles or Buttercup would obviously be dumb.
The bad: The name is flowery, sugary, happy, sunny goodness. How could it possibly be bad? Well, my friends, the unfortunate thing is that this name is so sweet, it just may give you diabetes.
In addition to being too full of sugar, this name is associated with two major pop culture figures. First, you all may be familiar with the Blossom who is the leader of the Powerpuff Girls. Blossom, as I recall, was not the most favorable of the trio. She was often portrayed as a bossy know-it-all, snob, and all-around teacher's pet. She had her noble moments, but many episodes showcase her as that smarty-pants everyone hated in 4th grade. The second character associated with this name is Blossom from...Blossom. It was a show. It was in the 90s. It dealt with after-school problems like family, drugs, and alcohol. I honestly have never seen more than minor clips of that show, but I hear it's nostalgic. People who grew up watching it will probably encounter your child named Blossom and make some obscure reference.
The cartoon Blossom is cuter...
The awesome: Obscure references directed towards your child are probably the worst thing that could happen if you do decide to name her so.
As mentioned before, The Powerpuff Girls' Blossom was annoying at times, but she also was a freaking genius. Let me just remind you that she was always mature, logical, and had a great memory. She also had ice breath AND could speak Chinese fluently. From birth. Bottom line. Smart kids are named Blossom. Everyone wants smart kids.
Fun fact: This name was actually in the top 1000 during the 1920s and 1930s.
So much more Awesomely Bad Baby Names are coming soon!
