I'm Catholic. This means every once in a while I do crazy things like speak Latin or walk around with a cross drawn from ashes on my forehead. Because Lent was last month, I did both of those things, but I also gave up fast-food restaurants. Now that Lent is over, do I feel free knowing that I can eat all the fast food I want from now on?
Meh...
I initially decided to give up fast-food simply because I thought I was eating too much of it. I would go out to McDonald's, Wendy's, or some other deliciously evil establishment for lunch almost every day. Obviously, I was starting to feel fat and since Lent was coming up, I figured I would just use that as an excuse to back off from the bad stuff for a while. By doing this, I figured that by the end of the season, I would desire fast-food less because I had gone so long without it. Also, Lent is pretty much "diet season" for Catholics, so hey.
All in all, I can honestly say, it wasn't all that bad. I seriously don't even feel like I gave up much of anything...
Okay... So there were like two days where I went to Steak and Shake (figuring it didn't count because it's also a sit-down restaurant), and I also had Portillo's...beef...on a Friday. Basically I suck at commitment...and Catholicism. For the most part, I did give up the paper-wrapped hamburgers and greasy fries.
What I did end up staying completely away from is those sugary "coffee" drinks from Starbucks and Caribou Coffee (and yes, I consider those places "fast-food establishments"). On Easter afternoon, I could finally go to Caribou to get my beloved Vanilla White Mocha. As I pulled away from the drive-thru and took the first sip of creamy goodness that I've had in weeks, did I feel euphoria?
Meh...
I did feel slight excitement going into the driveway, but I did not devour my drink within minutes. Let's put it this way - I started my drink at 2 pm. I finished it the next morning by pouring it into a fresh pot of coffee I had just made myself. As it turned out, the sugary goodness I constantly drank every week had lost favor on my taste buds (probably for the better). I'm finding that I'm starting to prefer coffee that tastes more like, well, coffee. Those drinks are nice every once and a while, but I figure I can live with a small (maybe even a "kid's size").
So did my Lent fasting get me where I wanted to be? I'm not sure. I really don't know what I learned from this experience (or lack of experience). I feel that the rituals of Lent should make you think about some aspect of your life in a different way, or it should make you see the world differently. For instance, giving up television for 40 days might cause a person to step back and pay attention to other things that were previously overshadowed by the distractions of the media.
Like last year, my Lenten journey feels slightly unaccomplished. Why do I always "give up" these things that are relatively easy? I was able to say "no more fast-food" because I knew I didn't necessarily need to eat it all the time. I thought about giving up coffee. I just about had a heart attack at the thought. In my mind, I "need" coffee. If I don't have it in the morning, I honestly believe I will fall asleep while driving to work (the crash will happen precisely at the intersection of Naperville and Diehl - it's mapped out in my head!). Obviously, I won't die without caffeine, I once went without it for 7 days (it was supposed to be 14, but you know me). Perhaps one day I'll try it because that's the point of Lent - giving up something that you think you can't, only to find that it wasn't really that important all along.
(Okay, maybe that's not the whole point for Lent, but that's a nice secular thought!)
((I love the parentheses today. Clearly!))
Monday, April 1, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Tina Fey Says "No" to Next Year's Oscars. The World Cries.
"But, but...Seth promised!!!", were my thoughts as I read this article.
On Sunday night's Academy Awards (or Oscars for the newfound lazy) host, Seth McFarlene, made a reference that Amy Pohler and Tina Fey would be hosting next year's show. This was great, and highly anticipated considering the amazing job both comediennes did while hosting this years Golden Globes. It seemed like there was no doubt the duo would make an appearance next year, but according to The Huffington Post, Tina Fey has turned down the offer. She said it would be "too hard", especially for a woman who would probably have to "spend months trying on dresses" alone.
Although, I was a bit upset to hear that one of my favorite comedy writers would not host the biggest awards event of the year, I can't blame her for backing out. Those urchins at the E! network would probably tear her apart over stupid shit like her dress and hair (men have it so easy: tux and hair = done). While everyone loved the Globes and Fey and Pohler were excellent and hilarious hosts, the event seemed more relaxed and friendly than the Oscars. The Oscars is a huge event and I can imagine the pressure of not wanting to screw it up. No matter what, there will always be a critic. Personally, I think Tina Fey could pull it off, along with her BFF Amy. Heck, at least we all know they would be better than that Anne Hathaway/James Franco thing (seriously, freaking James Franco?), but it's her choice. No need to put yourself through unnecessary stress just for publicity and face time.
I guess Billy Crystal will do...
On Sunday night's Academy Awards (or Oscars for the newfound lazy) host, Seth McFarlene, made a reference that Amy Pohler and Tina Fey would be hosting next year's show. This was great, and highly anticipated considering the amazing job both comediennes did while hosting this years Golden Globes. It seemed like there was no doubt the duo would make an appearance next year, but according to The Huffington Post, Tina Fey has turned down the offer. She said it would be "too hard", especially for a woman who would probably have to "spend months trying on dresses" alone.
Although, I was a bit upset to hear that one of my favorite comedy writers would not host the biggest awards event of the year, I can't blame her for backing out. Those urchins at the E! network would probably tear her apart over stupid shit like her dress and hair (men have it so easy: tux and hair = done). While everyone loved the Globes and Fey and Pohler were excellent and hilarious hosts, the event seemed more relaxed and friendly than the Oscars. The Oscars is a huge event and I can imagine the pressure of not wanting to screw it up. No matter what, there will always be a critic. Personally, I think Tina Fey could pull it off, along with her BFF Amy. Heck, at least we all know they would be better than that Anne Hathaway/James Franco thing (seriously, freaking James Franco?), but it's her choice. No need to put yourself through unnecessary stress just for publicity and face time.
I guess Billy Crystal will do...
Monday, February 25, 2013
What We Really Want from the PS4
Last week, Sony announced the the new PlayStation 4... Correction: Last week, Sony showed us what the controller for the new PS4 would look like.
Beyond that, they talked a lot about other specs the new console would have and even showed off a few new upcoming games. This was all nice and cute, but here's what we really want to see by the end of the year:
Backwards compatibility:
Even the PlayStation 2 had backwards compatibility (meaning you could play old-ass first generation games like Parappa the Rapper). When the PS3 came out, you couldn't even play most of your old PS2 games. Sure, you can pull out your old consoles, re-hook them up to your TV and play old games, but why the hell would anyone want to do that? That takes work. Besides, isn't being non-compatible with older games kind of pretentious?
"What, PS4? You think you're better than me?" --voice of old PS games, presumably in a Brooklyn accent.
Please just include two controllers in the box:
The one thing I hate about getting a new gaming console is that as soon as you have spent your entire paycheck on the system, you know you have to go out and spend another half of your check. I can deal with buying games. That's just a part of the life of being a gamer (hell, you don't even have to buy games now that rental stores and friends are a thing). What upsets me is the fact that only one controller comes with the console, so you better treasure it, because if you're poor you won't be getting another one for at least five years (Note: Real Sony PS3 controllers cost almost $45 each. Cheaper, non-Sony ones you can get overseas for around $15).
Think about it: When do people most often receive new gaming consoles? Around their birthdays or the December holiday's right? Chances are that your friends and/or family are around to watch your excitement as you unwrap your new gift. Within the next 30 minutes or so, you'll probably want to play with your new system...but there's only one controller. Of course it's your new toy so you have to be the first one to play it, so now what? Everyone sits around watching you die over and over again in Uncharted. Now I understand that adding a second controller already in the box would raise the overall price, and that a lot of people play primarily single-player games. However, adding a second controller makes sense for consoles like the Nintendo Wii (entertaining at a house party near you!), and since Sony made the announcement that the PS4 will be more "social", you'd think they would want to have two controllers in the box.
"Yeah, social... Like online gaming and creeping on other users' profiles." --voice of the Sony dude.
An app for ordering pizza:
Game night. Everyones' drunk. We're playing Katamari Damacy. We can't find the phone. We're hungry. But we can't cook.
Dear Sony; kindly replace that "share" button with a "bring meh pizzah NOW!" button. You see, it's simple-- while configuring your PlayStation, there will be an option for quick pizza delivery from your vendor of choice (Sony will have to set up some kind of partnership with these companies, but that's another story). You would choose your default type of pizza to order, enter your address and credit information, and then every time you press that "bmpN!" button, it will delivered to you.
"No refunds if you accidentally press the button while intoxicated" --voice of fine print in instruction manual.
A webcam:
Every other electronic ever has a built in camera, so why the hell not? Hey, it spares them the embarrassment of coming out with a new gadget possibly titled, "PlayStation M4ve", or some stupid crap like that...
"Social!" --voice of the Sony dude, again.
A promise to never make a "slim" version of this console:
We never ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER want to see a PS4 Slim. Ever.
"...ever!" --voice of me.
It has a touch pad because 21ST CENTURY!
Beyond that, they talked a lot about other specs the new console would have and even showed off a few new upcoming games. This was all nice and cute, but here's what we really want to see by the end of the year:
Backwards compatibility:
Even the PlayStation 2 had backwards compatibility (meaning you could play old-ass first generation games like Parappa the Rapper). When the PS3 came out, you couldn't even play most of your old PS2 games. Sure, you can pull out your old consoles, re-hook them up to your TV and play old games, but why the hell would anyone want to do that? That takes work. Besides, isn't being non-compatible with older games kind of pretentious?
"What, PS4? You think you're better than me?" --voice of old PS games, presumably in a Brooklyn accent.
Please just include two controllers in the box:
The one thing I hate about getting a new gaming console is that as soon as you have spent your entire paycheck on the system, you know you have to go out and spend another half of your check. I can deal with buying games. That's just a part of the life of being a gamer (hell, you don't even have to buy games now that rental stores and friends are a thing). What upsets me is the fact that only one controller comes with the console, so you better treasure it, because if you're poor you won't be getting another one for at least five years (Note: Real Sony PS3 controllers cost almost $45 each. Cheaper, non-Sony ones you can get overseas for around $15).
Think about it: When do people most often receive new gaming consoles? Around their birthdays or the December holiday's right? Chances are that your friends and/or family are around to watch your excitement as you unwrap your new gift. Within the next 30 minutes or so, you'll probably want to play with your new system...but there's only one controller. Of course it's your new toy so you have to be the first one to play it, so now what? Everyone sits around watching you die over and over again in Uncharted. Now I understand that adding a second controller already in the box would raise the overall price, and that a lot of people play primarily single-player games. However, adding a second controller makes sense for consoles like the Nintendo Wii (entertaining at a house party near you!), and since Sony made the announcement that the PS4 will be more "social", you'd think they would want to have two controllers in the box.
"Yeah, social... Like online gaming and creeping on other users' profiles." --voice of the Sony dude.
An app for ordering pizza:
Game night. Everyones' drunk. We're playing Katamari Damacy. We can't find the phone. We're hungry. But we can't cook.
Dear Sony; kindly replace that "share" button with a "bring meh pizzah NOW!" button. You see, it's simple-- while configuring your PlayStation, there will be an option for quick pizza delivery from your vendor of choice (Sony will have to set up some kind of partnership with these companies, but that's another story). You would choose your default type of pizza to order, enter your address and credit information, and then every time you press that "bmpN!" button, it will delivered to you.
"No refunds if you accidentally press the button while intoxicated" --voice of fine print in instruction manual.
A webcam:
Every other electronic ever has a built in camera, so why the hell not? Hey, it spares them the embarrassment of coming out with a new gadget possibly titled, "PlayStation M4ve", or some stupid crap like that...
"Social!" --voice of the Sony dude, again.
A promise to never make a "slim" version of this console:
We never ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER want to see a PS4 Slim. Ever.
"...ever!" --voice of me.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Mississippi: The 3rd Cousin State
Mississippi officially ratifies amendment abolishing slavery — finally
We should really cut ties with Mississippi...
They're like that 3rd cousin who's been in and out of prison and rehab for a couple of years now, but swears he's "gonna get right soon" like every week. And we keep having to apologizing to other countries for Miss's behavior. Like-- "I know this is what you see frequently, but really, we're not all like Mississippi..."
We should really cut ties with Mississippi...
They're like that 3rd cousin who's been in and out of prison and rehab for a couple of years now, but swears he's "gonna get right soon" like every week. And we keep having to apologizing to other countries for Miss's behavior. Like-- "I know this is what you see frequently, but really, we're not all like Mississippi..."
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