Answers to the 34 Questions About Racial and Cultural Stereotypes

I submitted a response-type article to be published on Thought Catalog.  I assume it got rejected because they never emailed me back.  Sad day.  However, it's a good thing I have my own blog right here where nothing ever gets rejected.  NOTHING!  *MANIACAL LAUGHTER*

For the record, I am a black girl, but let me just speak for all races now.  #YesAllRaces

I read this, so then I wrote this.  That is all!

1. Why do black people like grape flavoring so much?

Black people, why grape?

Because it’s delicious.  Duh!  If you haven’t realized the bliss of (artificial) grape flavored food and drinks, get out of my face.

2. Why do white people like cheese so much?

White people: Why do you always have so much cheese?

Cheese is also delicious.  I’m eating cheese right now.  Who doesn't like cheese?  ...Vegans.  Yes.  But secretly, vegans wish they could eat cheese.

3. Why do people say Mexican food burns their ass?

I am Mexican and I wanna know why people say mexican food burns people’s anus/ass????? ( It makes no sense to me :/)

Mexican food is generally spicy.  Spicy food creates “spicy” excrement.  Science.

4. Why do Indians have bad body odor?

A lot of Indians I know have pretty bad BO. I get that it’s partially a cultural thing but are you just biologically conditioned to ignore it or what? Can you not smell it on yourself?

I don’t really care what causes it, honestly just wondering if you even notice it or you just learn to live with it or what..

Well that’s just rude…

Well, maybe it has something to do with the type of food that is eaten, which in that case, yes, one would get used to the smell, and not even notice it anymore.

Still rude..

5. Why can’t Italians eat quietly?

Why are Italian families so damn loud at restaurants?

They like to eat and have fun.  Dude, get over it.

6. Do white people feel threatened when other races move into the neighborhood?

White people, do you feel threatened when too many immigrants move in? I’m Asian and when I first moved to Cali my whole neighborhood was white, but as soon as the other minorities were rolling in they began leaving and now the street is all Asian, Indian, Black, and Hispanic

Obviously not all White people are threatened by minorities moving next to them.  That is absurd.  However, I’m sure that that curmudgeon who gave me a dirty look and changed seats when I sat next to her on the train felt “threatened.”

7. Why do angry black women keep repeating the same sentence?

Why, when angry, do black women shout the same sentence over and over? They’ll pick a couple key phrases and just get stuck in a Howard Hughes loop.

Because they’re angry?

Because they’re angry.

Because they’re ANGRY.

BECAUSE THEY’RE ANGRY!

8. Are black and white people’s pubic hairs similar in texture?

Do black people’s pubes have the same texture as white people’s?

Well, yes, but why do you need to know?...

9. Are blacks ashamed of low-class blacks?

Black people, are you as ashamed of your low class people as us whites are of rednecks / trailer trash?

We’re ashamed of anything that degrades our identity, just as I’m sure White people are ashamed of rednecks that give White people a bad name.

10. Why do white people wear shoes indoors?

White people: Do you guys actually wear shoes inside of your houses? Isn’t that really unsanitary? I’m in Canada and from the limited number of white people’s houses I’ve been to, this doesn’t happen so I’ve always thought it was a myth…

My family sometimes wears shoes indoors.  My black family.  So, I really can’t help you out on this one…

11. Why are Filipino men henpecked?

Why are most older Filipino men look so beat down by their wives?

Because marriage is hard work.

12. Why do white people leash their children?

White people: Why do you put leashes on your children when walking around with them, and why does it seem that they are in charge when out in public?

I’m sure they just want to make sure they don’t lose little Johnny in the park.  We’ve all seen too many episodes of Law and Order: SVU, so the fear of child abduction is real. 

13. Are there any happy Japanese people?

Are people living in Tokyo at all happy/fulfilled? And why does the culture seem so oppressive?

Every time I hear about japan’s workaholic, very reserved culture I can’t help but think no one could be happy there.

So basically, is any of that true?

Of course Japanese people are happy.  Haven’t you ever watched anime?

But really, Tokyo is like the Japanese equivalent of NYC in the US.  So many busybodies and serious-looking Wall Street brokers make it seem just as oppressive as Tokyo.  However, we all know that outside of the big cities are simpler and more relaxed lifestyles.

14. Why do white kids talk disrespectfully to their parents?

White people: why do you talk to your parents any disrespectful type of way? What is that about? I wish I would tell my mom or dad to shut up. All hell would break loose on my ass.

It’s all about individual parenting practices.  I’ve seen some terrifying White mothers who would absolutely kill their children if they stepped out of line.  Similarly, I’ve seen disrespectful Black kids and the feeble Black mothers they step all over.  Some parents just don’t practice enough discipline or assert themselves over their children enough.  If a kid feels like they can get away with bullshit with their parents, they will definitely try it, no matter what culture they are in.

15. What’s with the “N” word double standard?

Why do black people throw around the N word like it’s meaningless while if someone else says they have a shit storm

This is actually legit, and there are so many ways to answer this question, but here’s my take:

The “N” word has been used as a negative term that has kept the Black race down for hundreds of years.  In my opinion, it’s still keeping us down.  Some Black people believe they are turning a negative into a positive by “reclaiming” the word and making it their own; they are redefining it in a way.  This is similar to women using the word “bitch” to speak to each other endearingly, or gay men using the “F” word. 

I personally never liked the word and don’t appreciate its use, but I think overtime it will fizzle out and possibly lose its historical meaning.

16. Are Germans ashamed of their history?

How do the younger generations of Germans feel about living in a country with a horrible past?

You can ask the exact same question to young people living in the United States or literally anywhere that has a history of war, massacre, genocide, oppression, slavery, etc.

“I’m very ashamed of my country’s past.” - A teenager from Spain, still upset about the Inquisition.

17. Why do Indian men wear sandals?

What is with you Indian guys and wearing sandals everywhere? Also the popped collar thing?

Oh, this isn’t a White thing?

18. Why do white people act ghetto?

Why do white people feel the need to act ghetto to be tough or act ratchet to be ironically funny?

Because they’re probably around the ages of 12 to 24 and have no idea what the hell they are doing.  Somebody please stop them and tell them they look ridiculous.

I’m also looking at you, middle-upper class Black kids.  Your father just paid your college tuition.  Pull your freaking pants up!

19. Why do white women have savior complexes?

White Women: why do you think every other ethnicity and culture needs you to save them?

I can’t answer this properly because I am not a White woman.  However, speaking as a Black woman, I feel like I need to save every person who wrote the questions on this list, lest they make further fools of themselves in public.

20. Are white people bothered by the rise of Asia?

White people, what’s your view on the potential rise of Asia? Does it bother you or intrigues you that there is a possibility that Asia will call most of the shots in international politics?

Well, Asia showed us Pokemon, Toyota vehicles, amazing food, China’s Olympic Gymnastic team, and karate, so I don’t think White people will mind too much.

21. Do all black people know one another?

Here’s one for black people, and I’ve always wondered this. When I’m in the city, I always see black people talking to, shaking hands with, and hugging, other seemingly random black people. Do they really know each other? Or is it purely a black camaraderie kind of thing?

So being friendly is weird now?

22. Can Asians tell one another apart?

Can chinese people tell the difference between other chinese people and those from a different asian country like japan?

Yes.  Probably.  If you studied culture and races well enough, they would be able to tell the difference as well.

There are differences between cultures all around the world: If you try, you can tell an Irishman from a German; an Alaskan from a Hawaiian; a Ghanian from a Nigerian, etc.

23. What’s with all the black family reunions?

Black people: Why do you guys have so many damn family reunions? At least once a day I see a black person with a “__________ Family Reunion” t-shirt

What?  Do you have a thing against families?  We like our families.  Deal with it.

24. What’s with Asian drivers?

Asians : What is it about driving that makes it absolutely impossible? Why whenever I see someone in the fast lane doing 20mph below, or crossing 4 lanes of traffic with no blinker, or parking in the most cattywampus position, or drifting over into other people’s lanes, does it almost always turn out to be an Asian person? Is it a lack of a gene that doesn’t allow muscle memory pertaining to driving or do you really just not give a shit about anything happening outside your vehicle?

Rude.  Go away.  #NotAllAsians

25. Why are the English hung up on Americans?

I want to know why the English think that it’s ok to target Americans about EVERYTHING, but no other culture. I have people just come up to me and say how great it is, or how awful it is, that I’m American. But I’ve never seen them do this with Polish or Italian people, for example. Like you don’t just walk up to an Italian’s table at the pub and say, ” God I just love your accent, I love Italians, you are so Italian!” Whereas I get that sort of thing regularly, and other American’s I’ve talked to have experienced it too.

I’ve experienced something similar while I was in England, but honestly, I think it may be because American pop culture tidbits are spread all over the globe, so it may be really exciting for a British person to meet an American in real life, or criticize them based on the portrayal of Americans in widespread media.  Americans do the same thing to the Brits.  Let’s be honest.

26. Why do black people cross the street so slowly?

Why you black people cross the street so slow?

This is not a thing.

27. Why do Hispanics shop with their entire extended family?

Hispanics: when you go shopping somewhere, why do you take your entire extended family with you? It’s always husband and wife and two or three kids and maybe an uncle and usually at least one grandparent and possibly some cousins as well. Why do you need to bring everyone to buy a video game or a book or groceries? And what the fuck are you driving that you can fit so many people in your vehicle??

Again, they like their families.  Also, they are probably driving something called a “van.”  Perhaps you’ve heard of it.

28. Hey, blacks—why so many wigs?

Why do African and Caribbean shops sell so many wigs for women?

BECAUSE FUCKING SOCIETY TELLS ME MY KINKY HAIR ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH SO I HAVE TO FUCKING SEW IN SOME SYNTHETIC HORSE HAIR BULLSHIT SO I CAN PRETEND TO HAVE STRAIGHT HAIR LIKE ALL YOU OTHER FINE-HAIRED BITCHES ON TV!!

...ASSHOLES.

29. Why are Chinese tourists messy and gross?

Why are Chinese tourist groups always the messiest, grossest people at our hotel?

Maybe because they hate your shitty (and possibly racist) hotel service.

30. What color is black people’s dandruff?

Coloured people of Reddit, is your dandruff also coloured or is it white? I suspect it is white, but you never know…

O_O

I can’t even, so I just won’t even...

31. Why won’t Gypsies assimilate?

Gypsies why do refuse to be part of society and cause damage to property, steal and be so aggressive?

I would like to clarify I am British and all interaction with the gypsy population was in England.

Because society sucks and assimilation is boring..

32. Do white people fear becoming extinct?

White people: Are you afraid that your race will get extinct one day because of constant mixing?

I’m sure some (racist) white people have this fear, but this will likely never happen because there's this place called Northern Europe where there are almost no brown people.  So if you really are all about White Power, go move to Scandinavia or someplace where the temperature never goes beyond 35ºF.

33. If life in America is so bad for blacks, why don’t they leave?

If life for you in this country is so unfair or hard, what is keeping from swimming back to Africa?

Because I wasn’t born in fucking Africa, I was born in the fucking United States of fucking America.  There’s no going “back” to where I’ve never been.  Like..why don’t you go ahead and doggie paddle your way back to England?

Idiot.

Also I can’t swim.

34. When will blacks and Jews get over the past?

Dear jewish people, how long will it take for you to get over the holocaust? It happened like 70 years ago.

Dear black people, how long will it take you to get over slavery? That shit happened like 400 years ago.

Dear #34,

Sorry these oppressed cultures keep bringing up old shit and reminding you of the terrible crimes against humanity.  We know how much of an inconvenience it is to keep hearing about these awful events in history involving the mass genocide and degradation of our people and their cultures.  We understand that these constant reminders of the Holocaust and slavery are just as detrimental to your psyche as the actual physical and psychological pain our ancestors went through years ago.  Sorry to put all that guilt on you.  Honestly, we just create these memorials and teach history classes for fun!  Please allow us to keep talking about it for approximately 5 more years.  We should get it out of our systems by then.

Sincerely,

Mad Black Woman

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