Grocery Stores Give You Panic Attacks, Too, Right?

Me and my thoughts at work:
"Yay!  It's almost 5:00.  In a few minutes I'll be out of this place and on my way to a nice relaxing time at work."

I realize I ran out of coffee and I need to get some from the store to drink the next morning:
"Well, I guess I really don't need the coffee for tomorrow.  I can just make some at work....  But I like to have it in the car on the way to work...  But that's okay; I can make tea instead...  No tea won't be enough caffeine for me...  It'll be fine...  No it won't...  I'll fall asleep driving...  No, I won't; I'll just go to bed early...  Fat chance...  Screw it; I'm going to the store."

On my way to the grocery store:
"Awesome, there's a blizzard right now.  Ugh, everyone's driving so slow and I can barely see the road.  Maybe, I don't need to go to the store today...  No, I'm already out.  Plus I'll definitely need it if I'm going to be scraping snow off my car tomorrow morning...  I'm literally going to pass my house on my way to the store...  Stupid coffee..."

Finding a parking spot:
"It's snowing so much, I swear I just saw a polar bear cross the street.  WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE HERE?!"

Inside the store:
"While, I'm here I should probably get the other things on my shopping list...  Guess that means I should get a cart...  Great, now I have to worry about cart traffic.  Fantastic!  Old ladies better watch out..."

Turning corners out of aisles:
"Wow, that old lady just almost crashed into me...  I hate people...  Great now, she's moving so slow in front of me.  I'll just look down at my phone and pretend that I'm also going slow...  Awesome, this guy just passed us both up like he's the shit...  Well, screw you too, man!"

Finding what I need:
"Don't they sell the classic roast anymore?... Seriously?  Am I really going to have to ask somebody?  Great...  Um, sir.  Do you have the classic roast coffee?  Oh, it's right to the left of me?  Oh, okay, got it, thanks...  Wow, he probably thought I was so dumb...  Oh!  Wait, sir!  I can't reach the can!  Nooo, now he's too far away...  Um..  *sigh* I guess French roast is fine..."

Finding the other things:
"Yes, my household will eat all 50 boxes of pasta I just threw in my cart.  Everyone stop staring at me like I'm crazy!...  This guy has been standing in front of the milk for two minutes.  Just pick one already, dude!  I could just walk around him and grab my milk...  Nah, he'll probably think I'm rude; I'll just wait...  Still waiting... Okay, I'll just pretend I'm going to look at the cheeses, then come back later..."

Coming back for the other things:
"The dude is STILL in front of the refrigerator door...  It's fine, we don't need milk... Rice milk is fine...  Are you kidding me?!  Now the old lady from earlier is blocking the rice milk?...  What did I do to deserve this?...  Oh my God, I almost just ran down a small child with my shopping cart!  Parents; watch your damn kids!"

In the alcohol section:
"I'm really going to need some booze after this shopping mission...  That worker just looked at me funny; I think she thinks that I'm under 21...  I swear I'm over 21 ma'am...  Oh, no she's coming over here...  Why does she need to see my I.D. now?  What?  A person can't even look at the alcohol without being carded?...  Do you think someone under 21 would dress business casual and go on a full-out grocery shopping journey?  There are women's daily vitamins in my shopping cart... You really think I'm underage?...  Ugh...  She must be bored...or new...  What the hell!  She didn't card that obvious pack of high school students over there!  Nevermind; she must be racist..."

In checkout:
"Should I do self-checkout, or regular checkout?... I have enough items to self-checkout, but just enough to the point where I don't want to bag it all by myself...  Meh...  I'm buying a pack of tampons; nobody needs to know about that; I'll do self-checkout...  Crap!  I can't do self-checkout when I have booze!  *Grumblegrumble*  Fine, I'll do regular checkout...
"No, I do not have a membership... No I do not want one...  Yes I found everything I was looking for today...  Although, I couldn't get to the 1% milk, because a guy was..erm, and still is..standing in front of all the milk; you guys should probably check that...make sure he's okay...  No, no, you don't have to get your manager; I was just sayin'...  Yes this bottle of wine is all for me; don't judge...  My total is $56.49?...  *sigh*, I guess I'll just buy those shoes next month..."

Leaving the store parking lot:
"This guy is just sitting in his car behind me, not moving; Hey buddy!  I gotta back out of this spot... Oh, he wants my parking space so he's waiting...  You're in the way though, dude, I can't back out with you in my way!...  Wha-...  Now why is he pulling forward?... No, get out, of my way; don't come closer...  He's still pulling forward...  Alright, if it's a fender-bender he's asking for..."

Trying to make a left turn out of the parking lot during rush hour:
"I cant even..."

My Very Detailed and Expansive New Year's Resolutions that Totally Didn't Take Me All of December to Create

This year, I put together an epic list of resolutions that I want to happen in 2014.  Instead of just making bullets, I also wrote mini-blurbs under each resolution, so that the focus and understanding really sets in.  I feel that often people will make resolutions such as, "eat better".  See, the problem there is that "eating better" is such a subjective phrase, that it doesn't really have much ground behind it.  What are the steps involved in "eating better?"  Do you mean you want to eat better, as in healthier, or eat better as in better tasting food?  It helps to lay out the details of your resolution so that it is constantly clear to you (and others, so they can keep you on track!)  So, I present my New Year's Resolutions, live on my blog for the entire world to see! (if they magically happen to stumble upon this link...)

1.  Workout every day.

In actual fact, I want to work out everyday of the week, but I say four just because there is always the possibility that some other event will come up.  I really would just like to tone up more and increase my endurance so I don't feel like puking after running 2 miles.  While, I don't focus too much on my weight, I would like to lose about 10 lbs, but as long as I can look in the mirror and like what I see, I will be happy.

2.  Stretch every day.

I used to dance almost every day, so my flexibility was better than what it is currently.  "I'm losing my dancer!", I say to myself as I try to touch my toes from a standing position, and I can barely do it.  I want to keep dancing forever, so obviously, my flexibility has to stay intact.  I will not lose my dancer!

3.  Work on my dance technique at least two times a week.

Once again, I want to keep dancing forever, so I definitely cannot lose my technique.  I want to go to school for dance therapy, which will require some pre-established technique and terminology, so I can't forget all that I've learned.  At least a couple times a week I will work on basic ballet and modern skills such as, positions, jumps, turns, and stretches.  I may even invest in a turning board so I can finally nail my quadruple turns...  Who knows?!

4.  Lay off the snooze button.

For past couple of months I have literally been rolling out of bed at 7:00 am, throwing on clean clothes, brushing my hair, grabbing some coffee (if there's time), and driving to work...by 7:20 am...  I start work at 8:00 am.  THIS MUST STOP!  I don't like rushing, so why do I do it?  Simple.  Because I like sleeping too much.  I get up at the last minute because my bed is warm and it loves me, but waking up later causes me to be disorganized for the rest of the day.  I don't eat breakfast, I don't have a proper morning coffee ritual, and I definitely don't have time to warm my car up if it's icy outside.  If I just give the snooze button a break and actually wake up at an appropriate time, then I will have a smoother morning ritual.  But before I do all that...

5.  I should probably get more than 3 hours of sleep a night.

I need to stop staying up till 3 am watching Under the Dome with the roommates.  I'd be missing out on all the fun, but I can't sacrifice all the valuable sleep that I need.  Plus, I'll probably feel healthier if I got more rest.

6.  Pack my lunches more often.

I don't like eating junk for lunch while I'm at work.  It makes me sleepy, so I drink more coffee, then I get more headaches.  Solution: I should pack my lunch the night before then grab it the next morning.  That way, it will be something good for me that probably won't be deep fried or sugar coated.

7.  Eat healthier snacks.

In addition to packing my lunch, I should eat healthier snacks, like fruit and nuts, while I'm at work, and also at home while watching TV, etc.  It's better than Oreos.  I love Oreos...  But woman cannot live on Oreos alone.  Unfortunately...

8.  Go to the eye doctor.  Get contact lenses.

I don't care if it's at Walmart, I need to get an eye checkup so that I can get a prescription for my contacts.  If I'm going to be working out and dancing more, I'm going to want to wear my glasses less, so I need contacts in order to be free from pushing my glasses up my nose every 10 seconds.  Plus, it's always good to know if you have glaucoma or anything...

9.  Go to doctor for regular checkups.

Let's see, when we were kids, how did we know if we were sick?  Oh yes, our parents would schedule our doctor appointments for us and make us go.  Now, that we have freedom and don't live with parents, what should we do?  Oh yeah...  Shit, we have to do that stuff by ourselves.  Adulthood 101: taking care of your health is a priority.  Don't put it off.

10.  See a chiropractor.

Just because I've never been to one, and now that I have decent health insurance, I would like get check up, because I know for a fact that my back sucks.

11.  Be more expressive.

This actually involves a lot of elements.  First, I need to be expressive in my words to others.  It's never really that hard to say what you mean to other people.  I'm not going to hold back so much anymore, I'll speak up, and I'll work on making my feelings more clear.  Second, I'll be expressive in terms of how I present myself to others.  I want my actions and the way I look to show my personality to others.  Finally, I want to expressive myself artistically.  I want a piece of myself to show through in my writing and also any drawing that I do.  I feel that I've always had a bit of an "artsy soul", and in 2014, I want that artsy-nerd to break out.

12.  Style my hair more.

Anyone who knows me knows that I have one hairstyle lately:  The Poofy Up-Do.  It's fine, but it's also one of my laziest.  There really is much that I can do with my hair, I just need to set aside the time and effort to work with different hairstyles.  I also want to try a new color.  I'm still thinking of the options and what would look best.  The possibilities are endless!

13.  Get a tattoo.

I want a dancer on fire.  I want a dancer on fire.  I want a dancer on fire.  I don't know where I want it, but I want a dancer on fire.

14.  Write something every week.

I always have ideas running through my head, but I never write them down.  It usually takes me less than a day to complete a blog entry, etc.  My new goal is to write a piece every week and either post it to my blog, or another place where it can be viewed.  If not for public viewing, then I'll make private a journal entry.  At least I can say I wrote something.

15.  Get on the path to Grad school.

I've decided that I want to pursue dance therapy as a career, and I'm sticking to that!  Now, I need to follow all the steps to getting into the program I want, so I can start going back to school as soon as possible.  Extra classes, applications, and financial aid are all of the things I need to look at.  I want to kick-start my education very soon, so the goal is to stay focused on completing all the checkpoints on the way to Graduate school.

16.  Take MMA classes.

I don't ever touch people, and I rarely ever get physical or aggressive, but I have the utmost confidence that if it became necessary, I could kick ass.  Why not test out this theory by taking an MMA class?  I think it would be fun to let out some aggression by doing martial arts and also potentially getting ripped in the process.  It's also something I've never done before, so it should be exciting.

17.  Take a pole dancing class.

This just seems like something new and fun, and since I found out there is actually a studio that teaches pole classes in my area, I'm even more inclined to check it out.

18.  Join contemporary and hip-hop dance classes.

If I had to pick one, I'd say that contemporary dance is my "specialty".  It's important to me to stay in tune with the style, so I'll find a class and take it weekly or so.  Also, hip-hop is a style that I don't have a great knack for, but love anyway, so I definitely want to get better at it by joining a class.  I also miss dancing in group settings.

19.  Keep record of my choreography.
I am constantly thinking of ideas and choreographing mini-dances in my head.  Some of them are pretty cool (if I do say so myself), but then I can never remember them.  I decided I will either write them down, or record myself doing the choreography, so that I don't lose it forever.

20.  Draw more.
I used to draw a lot, and it was actually very peaceful and relaxing for me.  I didn't even care if I was good or not, I just loved making sketches and drawing anime and manga characters.  I want to start doing it more often.  I think it will also help with my self-expression.

21.  Read more books and comics.
I have a long-term goal to read 100 books by the time I'm 30.  I'm 24 now, and I'm only about halfway through, so I've got some work to do in the next six years!  Comic books are also something that I've always wanted to become more immersed in.  Fantastic artwork combined with action-packed story lines: Why am I not reading more comics?!

22.  Rearrange and decorate my room.
My room has been rather stagnant for a year.  It's time to liven it up.  I'm thinking of going with a Batman theme because I'm 24, and that's what adults do.

23.  Keep my room and bathroom cleaner.
I always feel better when my area is nice and clear, so I might as well make more of an effort to keep it that way.

24.  Volunteer.
I want to do something where I know that by the end of a day, I have made a big difference in someone's life.  I haven't quite figured out exactly what I should do, but when I discover it, I want it to be consistent.

25.  Be more financially responsible.
I'm in my 20s.  Do you really think I have money figured out, yet?  This year I'll take a step towards financial stability.  I'll pay my bills on time and I won't buy stuff I don't need...  Well...  I won't buy most of the stuff I don't need.

26. Go to more music festivals/shows.
I always hear about these awesome shows and music festivals, especially during the summer, but I always end up feeling sorry for myself because I didn't go.  Well, to avoid those feelings of regret, I'm just going to go.  No questions asked.  I'll just buy the ticket.  Done and done!  People are also very fun to socialize with at shows, so that can be another mini-goal: meet more people at shows.  Yeah!  I love people (Lies.  I actually hate people, but for the sake of festivals, I will learn to love more people).

27.  Use my planner.
I bought a 2014 planner.  I'm going to use it.  That's pretty much it.

28.  Take better care of Renly.
He's all dirty because I haven't washed him since I got him.  The poor thing...  I also should probably get tune ups done more often.  Renly also deserves to be personalized.  He's been a good companion so far.
Renly is the name of my car, by the way...


**Bonus**
I have to use this blog more often.  I'm aiming for at least once a week.


BRING IT ON, TWENTY-FOURTEEEEEEN!!!!