I'm Thankful for Things and Stuff...

Every November, Thanksgiving rolls around and fills people's hearts with warmth and their arteries with cholesterol.  For most people this is a time to reflect on the things in life that they are grateful for.  Most cite blessings such as family, friends, a regular paycheck...  However, I believe it's the smallest of things that we have to be thankful for.  Many minor occurrences and objects in life are not given full appreciation around Thanksgiving time, and I think it's time we acknowledge them.  There are tons of little things to be grateful for, such as:

• Phones with wireless and 3G.  For those times you get hopelessly lost in in Vancouver.
• Phones that are not made by Apple.  For those times that Apple makes you cry.
• Free music.  Let's face it.  Someone will always find a way to download free songs.
• People who actually buy full albums from artists.  Those artists should be veryyy grateful.
• Cable television that provides akabajillion channels.
• Netflix.  For when ALL of the akabajillion channels suck.
• Christmas specials.  For when winter season gets you sick and you just need to lay on the couch and feel human again.
• Bathrooms.  Because if you do Thanksgiving right, my golly, you're probably gonna need one.
• Those 30 second ads before YouTube videos.  Stop complaining.  These are the reason YouTube is free.  Dammit.
• Reality shows like Teen Mom, Real Housewives, Jersey Shore, and Honey Boo Boo.  To remind yourself that "at least you're better than that."
• Alternative rock radio stations.  Because we're tired of Maroon 5.
• Eggnog.  Because, no wait.  NOBODY is thankful for that shit.
• Coffee.  Because you probably wouldn't get out of bed, shower, and drive to your parents house for Thanksgiving dinner without it.  Truth.
• Colored highlighters and sharpies.  Just because.
• Saturday Night Live.  Because they keep us on our toes: "Is this week's episode going to be good or bomb?  The suspense is killing me!"
• The Parent Trap and Mean Girls.  Because we sometimes need a reminder of Lindsay Lohan's good ol' days...  So does she.
• Mitt Romney.  For his ever-hilarious 'condesending grandmother' look.
• Paul Ryan.  For being Paul Ryan.
• Barack Obama.  For being one of the most relevant presidents I've seen.  Seriously, I've never seen a politician be so into Internet memes.  Internet.  Memes.
• Joe Biden.  For having the best dentist ever.  Apparently.
• Twitter.  Because we don't read newspapers anymore.
• Cracked.com.  For entertaining us during our down-time at work.
• Internet Explorer 10 commercials.  For introducing us to Alex Claire.  Good job.
• Nicki Minaj.  For making Lady Gaga seem normal.
• Ryan Gosling.  Because.  Damn...

Hey, girl!  Happy Thanksgiving!