When Donald Trump Dangles $5 Million in Your Face...

You'd think he could afford a better tan...

This really interesting and totally likable person named Donald Trump (perhaps you've heard of him) did something very charitable.  He announced he'd be making a donation of $5 million to any charity of President  Obama's choice.  This seems great!  What an awesome guy!  Oh wait, what's that?  There's a catch?  ...Of course there is... Freaking rich people...

Donald Trump recently announced...excuse me...majorly announced in a video that he would donate millions of dollars to any charity that Obama chooses, but only if Obama released his college applications, passports, and other documentation that no one really cares about.  Now, two things could happen here:  Either the Prez could laugh at Trump's horribly aging pumpkin head and never release his documents, thus resisting playing this stupid game.  Or, Obama could publicly release all his useless information on video, stare into the camera, and say "Pay up, Trump." ...Like a boss.

Frankly, I don't care what either party does.  However, I was extremely upset with Trump's action here.  Let me just say that this is precisely why people hate rich people, and Trump is only helping to give them more of a bad name.  He's portraying rich folks as the kind of people who openly display that they have more money than they know what to do with, but they never do any good with it.  Trump just blatantly expressed that he has $5 million he's willing to donate, but like a first-class asshole, he's going to hold on to it unless Obama succumbs to a stupid dare.  ...Freaking rich people...

I find it incredibly rude that he would dangle so much money in the faces of many charities that need it.  All those inner-city kids he mentioned, too...what a tease!  If he has the means to be charitable, why doesn't he just do it?  And I'm not saying that Trump has never donated a penny to charity in his life, because I'm sure he has (it's like required in the 1% world right?  For tax write-offs and shit?  I don't know things...).  However, in this instance, $5 million is a ton of cash that any charity could really benefit from, and to just turn it into a game is pretty low.  I say even if Obama doesn't play his game, he should still donate the money...or at least somebody should.  And I'm not accepting any less than that $5 million.

...Freaking rich people...

ALSO! - No one in the history of common sense would ever release personal information like this to the public.  "His passport application"?  Are you kidding me?!  Why don't I just scan my social security card and post it right here?

This is really mine.  Swear.